Killing You
by AniRay
Summary: He was losing her. He was losing himself.


Fangs sink into flesh.

Hands tear through muscle.

The welcome warmth of blood splashes against his skin. The coppery scent fills him with a feeling of power he hasn't indulged in for months...years. And he craved it, in a way he never had before. He needed to feel as if he had control- as if the destruction around him were not a blood-soaked reflection of his life.

His daughter was hurt and he wasn't there. The mother of his child- the woman he cared for in ways indescribable- was lost in a labyrinth of pain and he could not reach her. His siblings were flung to the far corners of the globe. And he was here- stuck in this hell if his own making.

Klaus had never cared about death. Not since Mikael thrust a blade through his heart and he awoke as a new creature. Death had lost its power over him and had instead become a familiar companion. He had felt Death's hands- watched as it stole the life from someone he cherished. But he had only truly grieved a mere handful of times in the many centuries he had walked this planet.

Yet his daughter had never truly known death. Not this intimately. She had been too young to know or understand. And Hayley- she had known too much of it since he had stepped into her life. But he had been there for her- even if he had not been able to comfort her as he wished. Now he was on the other side of the world.

So he fed.

He fed until he could forget

* * *

There was an itch crawling along his spine.

It wouldn't cease. It was maddening in its constancy. He knew it was his mind- the effects of this new form of isolation. But still, it felt unyielding. And it worsened with each unanswered call to Hayley. She was safe- physically. He called Freya daily to be sure of it. But her physical safety was second to his concern for her emotional state. And for that Freya had no answer.

He had never cared much for Mary Dumas. She was a Crescent and Jackson's grandmother. And though he admired her tenacity, her disdain for him was wearisome in its lack of originality. So her death was no great loss to him. But the woman had been the person Hope called Grandmother. She had watched and cared for his daughter as if she truly had been her own blood. So he could set aside his personal feelings and be respectful when the situation demanded.

And Hayley. The woman had loved Hayley in equal measure to her love for Jackson. And In the midst of the Mikaelson's never-ending drama, Klaus could not begrudge Hayley some semblance of a normal family. And Hayley had loved the old woman, perhaps more-so after the loss of Jackson. They were after all the two women he had loved the most. And they the two women who had loved him the most. Klaus could imagine that it was like losing Jackson twice over by losing this final connection to him.

And now she was fracturing- falling apart when he could not hold her. And she would not speak to him. No matter how many times Freya knocked at her door, Hayley would not respond. She would not eat, only subsisting by means of a single glass of blood each day. If Klaus' enemies could see him now they would have a weakness surpassed only by his daughter. Because he was terrified. Each day she drifted further into her own grief and each day he feared that he may lose her entirely.

So the itch persisted.

Until his back ran red and the white of his spine greeted his mirror.

* * *

_'I finally sent Hope back to school. Keeping her here- it was just making her more upset.'_

Those were the words Klaus had needed to hear. He was on a plane the next hour. He had no luggage, but he didn't care. He had taken just long enough to dress himself in clothing not stained with his own blood. No he was standing in front of his family home. He had been back since the day his family was forced into separating. Freya was still unaware of the relationship he and Hayley shared, as were his other family members. But that wasn't what caused his hesitation.

He could hear her. Her breathing was ragged and the sound of tears falling onto her pillow was just barely discernible. Her heart was pounding as well. And the combination of it all was an orchestra of pain. One he never wished to hear from the magnificent creature he knew Hayley to be. He released a heavy breath in an attempt to find the will to face her. His mind went back to a day many years ago. _'What could I possibly say to ease her pain?'_ it had been his deepest wish to comfort the mother of his child that day. And it was his greatest desire to comfort her now.

He stepped into his home, not bothering to acknowledge either Freya or Vincent. He would deal with their questions later. He sped to Hayley's room intent on bursting in. But he refrained. Grief was a strange thing. And he would not upset her for the world. So he knocked on the door and forced himself into stillness to wait for a response. And as with every other time- there was none.

His hand gripped the doorknob and turned. He used just enough strength to break the lock without truly damaging the door- Hayley had always loved the detailing that it held. He stepped inside and there she was. Her head was barely visible above the blankets. And the harshness of her breathing had not abated. He took in the room before him. It was destroyed- broken glass and torn clothes. It reminded him of the nursery after she destroyed it. It reminded him of his apartment an ocean away.

"I'll drink it later Freya. Just...go."

Her voice wrapped a violent hand around his heart and tore it from him. It was a pain he was familiar with- a hand around his heart. And her voice made it clear that it was not a stranger to Hayley either. He made his way to her bed and lifted the covers. Pulling her into his arms he carried her to her bathroom. She didn't open her eyes, but he smiled at the way she relaxed into his embrace. He kept her close to him as he turned on the shower and let the temperature reach her preference.

Then he undressed her. Her hair was matted and tangled. There were bruises under her eyes from lack of sleep and grief. It shouldn't have been possible, she was a hybrid. But Klaus knew that some things even immortality could not overcome. She stood naked before him and for the first time all he could see was the brokenness within her. Quickly he disrobed and maneuvered them both into the shower. He let the water fall onto her as he held her upright.

He waited.

And when she let herself fall apart he held her close as the water fell around them.

* * *

"I need you to eat, my love."

He had not left her side since he arrived. He had carried her from the shower and dressed her like he had dressed Hope when she was a little child. She had tried to return to her bed, but Klaus had refused her. His clothing was in his rooms so instead he led her out of her room and into his. He had seen Freya and Vincent standing in the courtyard as they passed, but he had ignored them. He had watched Hayley crawl into his bed while he dressed and the sight was bittersweet. The image of this woman in his bed was always beautiful, but he could not look at her at that moment and see anything but pain.

So he pulled her back up- led her downstairs.

He had compelled a chef to make small portions of Hayley's favorite foods. She may be part vampire now, but he knew she felt most like herself when she ate as she had before. Yet when the food arrived she had stared at it blankly. And she was still staring at it blankly. It was like she had not heard him speak at all. "Hayley." But her eyes never wavered from the plate in front of her.

"Klaus, man, I get it. But you can't force her to eat. She's gotta come out of this in her own time."

Vincent's voice was no less irritating than it had been when he left all those years ago. "I did not fly all this way to watch the mother of my child sink further into depression." Vincent rolled his eyes and Klaus had to force himself not to throw the man bodily from his home. Freya's eyes on him were the only thing sparing the witch from Klaus' wrath. Klaus turned Hayley's chair to so she faced him. Then he brought his hand to rest along her jaw. "Hayley, you will eat now. And you will continue to eat three times a day until you are well enough to determine your own eating habits."

"Klaus! What are you doing?" He ignored Freya's indignation. She knew perfectly well what he had done. His eyes stayed on Hayley, watching as she began to eat the food set before her. "Compelling her to eat isn't going to make the grief go away. You can't just feed her to make her happy."

"I'm well aware, sister, that food does not equal happiness. However I am also aware that the longer Hayley goes without eating, the harder it will be for her to get through this ordeal."

Again Vincent made his opinion know. "Klaus, it's been a long time since you were human. And I don't even know if you really understand what grief is anymore. But Hayley doesn't need you trying to decide how she goes through this for her. Elijah might have been a better bet if he was here, but he's not. Just let me and Freya handle Hayley and you quit messing with her mind"

Of course. Of course they would assume he had less than noble motives for his actions. And Of course they would immediately accept that Elijah would be the better brother to deal with Hayley. Even when they thought he had no memory of her, he was still a better choice than Klaus could be. He held his tongue, though. Because whatever they thought- he was only here for Hayley. So he drank the blood in his wine glass. And he ate the food that was on his plate.

But his mind replayed Vincent's words.

And he hated the part of himself that believed them.

* * *

"Okay, Brother, why are you really here?"

Hayley was asleep in his bed and Klaus had retreated to the library to think. So he shouldn't be surprised by his sister's sudden appearance. "What do you mean, Freya?" He would not make this easy for her. If she wanted to know something she would have to ask plainly, not these annoying had hidden questions.

"I mean, why did you fly from wherever you were this week to make Hayley eat dinner. Since when do Hayley's eating habits matter to you?" Klaus turned the page in the book he was reading to hid e the irritation her question fostered. "What's going on between you and Hayley? Because you showed up out of the blue and gave her a shower- no you took a shower _with_ her. Then you compel her to eat properly?"

He gave an annoyed huff and stood from his chair. The library no longer held the tranquility he had been searching for. And truthfully, he wanted to return to Hayley. They rarely had time together and despite the circumstances he wanted to be with her. But he also knew his sister. And she would not release him until she was satisfied. "Yes, I took a shower with her. She cries in the shower. Yes, I compelled her to eat. She feels most like herself when she eats normally. As for what is going on between Hayley and I... I should think it was obvious. You've been in a relationship before, have you not?"

He didn't wait for Freya's reaction. He brushed passed her and returned to his room. Hayley was awake when he entered. She sat with her back against the headboard, her knees drawn up to her chest. It was reminiscent of another time. _'We're a lot alike, you and I.'_ The memory made him smile. So did the sight of Hayley looking more alert than she had been since he arrived.

"I thought I dreamed you."

He walked over and got into bed next to her. "I'm afraid not, love." He held his arm out and she fell into him. The warm weight of her settled the anxiety he had been feeling since Freya had first called him with the news of Mary's death. He was here now and he could ensure that Hayley was taken care of properly.

"I'm sorry I worried you."

He wanted to dismiss her words. Because truly, he didn't mind so much now that he was with her. But she needed this. And so he turned to face her as much as he could without releasing her. "I thought I was losing you. I thought this grief would tear you apart and leave something unrecognizable in its wake." Her head dropped but he wouldn't let her hide. "Hayley, I am truly sorry for your loss. And I will be here for as long as I can, Little Wolf." She settled more fully into his embrace. He pressed a lingering kiss to her crown.

"I love you, Klaus."

"And I, you."

* * *

He woke to blood raining from the ceiling.

Hayley was still asleep, but he woke her. There was only one of his siblings that Freya would not have been warned was arriving. Silently Hayley slid from his bed and moved into his bathroom. The sound of the shower coming on was soothing in some inexplicable way. He waited until he knew she was under water to rise. Elijah had seen him covered in blood before- there was no need for him to protect his brother from the sight now.

He made his way down to the kitchen. Freya was seated, already partaking of her breakfast. And at the other end of the kitchen was Elijah. He was dressed as he always was. And the air of superiority that shrouded him was present also.

"Klaus, you smell like blood. I thought you stayed in last night?"

Freya's question appeared to startle Elijah out of whatever thoughts were circulating in his mind. He took a closer look at Klaus. Immediately a look of disdain crossed his features. "Niklaus, have you no decency? Hayley should not have to witness your baser nature during her time of grief." _And it begins._ Klaus turned to the cupboard beside him, pulling out two cups. "Sister, has Hayley awoken yet this morning?" Freya glanced at Klaus.

Klaus went to the coffee maker and prepared a cup for Hayley. "Yes, Elijah, Hayley is awake. She's currently in the shower washing the blood from her hair." The stiff set of Elijah's shoulders told Klaus all he needed to know. His brother had assumed that Hayley had come to her senses and ended their relationship. And now Klaus was affirming that no such thing had occurred. He poured hot water into his own cup to allow his tea to steep. Then he turned to watch his brother's reaction as he said, "It seems, Brother that your proximity has caused the house to rain blood- at least in my room."

Freya stood from her seat and deposited her plate in the sink. "I'll leave you two to talk. Klaus, try not to break anything, hm?"

He felt a positively feral smile grace his lips as his sister passed him. He nodded although she was no longer in the room. He let his eyes fall on his brother. There had been so many years where he had hated Elijah. And so many years where he had wished nothing more than to be as admired as the man before him. Yet now, he found he would very much like to be allowed to step out of his shadow. No one knew more fully than he how lacking he was in comparison to Elijah. But for the first time in centuries he wished not to have to be measured against Elijah's nobility.

"Have you treated her well?"

Sharp, bitter, desperate anger filled his veins. "I have treated her as the Queen she is." It was a greater struggle than he was prepared for to keep his voice even, but he succeeded. Elijah was watching too closely for him to show weakness. His brother was nothing if not a master of manipulating Klaus' weakness to his own gain. "Does this mean you will be visiting New Orleans more frequently, now that Freya knows you've regained your memory?"

"I would not risk my niece." There was an undertone that Klaus could not decipher. "I had thought you would feel the same, seeing as she is your daughter." And there it was- contempt. The surety that Klaus could never put his selfishness aside for another. "Tell me Niklaus, do you truly believe it is in Hope's best interest for you to come here?"

"Is it her best interest for you to be here Elijah?" Klaus turned to find Hayley standing in the entryway to the kitchen. Her hair was damp from her recent shower and her skin appeared healthy again instead of the pale color it had been when he arrived. "You're just as much of a danger to her as anyone. But if anyone should risk it, don't you think it should be her father?" She strode to his side with all of the grace and poise of the most noble of queens. And Klaus could not hold in his pride as she wrapped her arm around him.

"Good morning, Little Wolf." The fire in her eyes dimmed as she met his eyes. She pressed a kiss to his jaw before turning back to face Elijah. Elijah, who was watching with undisguised pain. Yet Klaus could see the hint of anger hidden in his eyes. Picking up the cup of coffee he had prepared, Klaus passed it to Hayley. His eyes watched his brother even as Hayley gave him the first smile he'd seen from her in weeks. The anger that Elijah tried to keep hidden flared again.

The elder Mikaelson took a slow step closer to Hayley- and Klaus had no doubt it was Hayley Elijah wished to be closer to. His expression turned itself into one of concern and care. "Hayley, I am so sorry for your loss. Mary was a kind woman. I know you and Hope will both miss her." Klaus stepped in front of Hayley without prior thought. Some primal instinct telling him to protect. And really, what was Elijah thinking? She was up and out of bed, she was drinking coffee and he chose that moment to offer condolences?

"Klaus, it's fine."

But he could hear the tremor in her voice- the flatness of her tone. It was not fine. Still, he stepped back and allowed her to return to Elijah's view. But his voice was cold when he spoke to his brother. "Careful Elijah, I'll not let you- or anyone- upset Hayley." Then wordlessly he pressed a kiss to her temple and left the room. There were thing those two needed to discuss and he could not be present for that conversation.

So he let the water of the shower scald him.

He ignored the itch under his spine.

* * *

"You can't both be here."

It was the third time Freya had spoken those same words. Yet no matter how many times she said them he refused to respond. Hayley and Elijah had both been gone when he finished his morning routine. A piece of him had been hurt that she would choose Elijah as her companion. But then he realized that it was the only way to ensure their conversation was private. And of course Hayley knew that if he thought she was upset he would barge in and end the entire thing. But their absence had left his alone with Freya for the past few hours. And this one-sided conversation she was conducting was swiftly becoming tiresome.

"Freya I am aware of how this works. Our proximity increases the Hollow's power and it urges us to go to the others. Then she overpowers the lot of us and wreaks havoc upon the world after possessing my daughter- again." He smirked at the way Freya rolled her eyes. "I will do nothing to jeopardize my child's safety or the safety of New Orleans. My purpose for being here is Hayley. I will be gone the moment I know she'll answer my phone calls again."

His sister's smile was unnerving in its deviousness. "I never thought the great Klaus Mikaelson would be such a devoted boyfriend. You put on such a big show, but you're really a teddy bear, aren't you little brother." He would not dignify her ridiculous attempts at mockery with a response. He had no problem admitting that he cared for Hayley- not to his own family. It was his enemies he wished to keep in the dark. His sister's playful attitude dimmed slightly. "It's okay, you know. Hayley feels the same way about you."

"And how would you know? Not twelve hours ago you were unaware of our relationship entirely."

She laughed. It would have annoyed him, but it had been a long time since he had heard his sister sound so carefree. It was a sound he enjoyed- though he would never admit it out loud. "I may not have known who Hayley was with, but I knew she was with someone. She smiled way more than usual." The corners of his lips tipped up at that. "I'm happy for you, Brother. I'm happy that you both have each other."

Hayley's arms wrapped around his waist. He had heard her come in, but chose to act unaware. There was no way of knowing what mood she would be in after a morning with Elijah. But she seemed happy enough as she playfully cuddled against him.

Yes, he was happy to have the Little Wolf.

* * *

His apartment was spotless when he returned.

The maid was compelled to forget anything out of the ordinary as soon as she left. So the blood was scrubbed from the carpets and the torn canvases were thrown out. His clothes were laundered and pressed and the dishes were clean and neatly put away.

He hated it. It was so cold to him now. After the warmth and familiarity of the compound this place seemed foreign to him. A stranger's home instead of his own. He quickly moved to the corner where his art supplies were. It was easiest to relax and ease into a new place- or an old one- when he was invested wholly in his art. So he pulled out a canvas and prepared a palette for painting.

His hands moved without a clear picture ever forming in his mind. He wasn't seeking to create anything spectacular. This endeavor was simple to settle him mind. But when he stepped back hours later, craving a glass of bourbon, he found Mary Dumas gazing back at him. The image was one he had seen before. He had stumbled across the old woman laughing with Hayley about something in the bayou. Both women had immediately ceased their laughter at his arrival, but the image had stayed with him for some reason.

He was glad of it now.

He added a few final touches before leaving it to dry. He would send it to Hayley in a day or two. He smiled at the thought. His smile grew wider when his phone rang and Hayley's face appeared on his screen. "Hello, love." She wasn't healed yet. And she was far from ready to move passed her grief, but she would be alright. He headed to the kitchen listening as she regaled him with the events that had taken place since he boarded his place nineteen hours ago. Elijah was still there- Klaus had a feeling he would be leaving soon, though. And Vincent was furious- though when was he not, where the Mikaelson's were concerned. Still, Klaus listened.

And slowly the feeling of home surrounded him once more.

Or perhaps that was just Hayley.


End file.
